I think over the last 14 years I've been deconstructing the "perfect mother myth" mostly because it was this ideal that truly traumatised me the most.

I was bound by ought to's and the shackles of people pleasing and perfectionism. I have at times lived, birthed and raised my children living in survival mode with the hands of fear wrapped tightly around my throat.

Until, that was, I said no more.

There's only a certain amount of times you can hit burnout and have a brush with death before you think some pretty big things might have to change.

Do you know what did it for me? It wasn't so much the health stuff that woke up me ....I had lived with chronic pain for a long time.

It was my relationships. My relationships to my kids and to my husband Oliver.
I could see they were suffering.

I was numb. I spent so much time disassociated and tapped out.

Looking back, I can see I was just trying to make it through each day. I was completely overwhelmed trying to keep a lid on my trauma, make everyone happy, be the perfect mother, wife, run a successful business, maintain friendships.....

I wanted to just press pause on it all and have a goddamn minute to catch up on myself.

Somewhere along the lines I had forgotten how to live, and not just live but enjoy the present moment.

Maybe I had forgotten what life is all about? Or more to the point, what was important. To me.

Waking up filled with dread, being bone achyingly tired, living in a constant cycle of reactiveness.....day after day.

I wanted to stop "bracing" against life's stresses and chaos.
I wanted to THRIVE instead of just survive.

You see, I always put myself last.

And the reason why my relationships all suffered was because I was so depleted and disconnected from myself.

This was absolutely not what I wanted, because these people are the most important people in my life.

They are and will always be my why, but you see in choosing them, I had to choose myself.
It was this realisation alone that changed so many things for me.

My desire for all things to thrive around me required me to thrive first. Not last.

A massive thing I had to overcome was accepting help and being vulnerable. It still makes me cringe a little even now.

What I've come to understand is that I had a belief that vulnerability equaled weakness.

I left myself wide open for judgment and it somehow meant I'd failed in some way. I wasn't doing a good job or somehow couldn't manage. As women I think we can all relate on some level to the quiet internal battle of not being good enough.

Ironically too, it's not usually the opinion of men we fear but of other women.

I think Brene Brown sums it up perfectly with this quote.

"Vulnerability is the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, courage, empathy and creativity. It is not a weakness: it's our most accurate measure of courage."

I think if I had had the courage to hold up my hands and be vulnerable in my experiences with fertility, pregnancy and even postpartum, I would have had a completely different experience.

Once more, what Brene describes as vulnerability is also at the core of mothering. These are the things we are innately good at, and these expressions are present when we are thriving.

I think if we could find the courage to be vulnerable and honest about our experiences of mothering and all that it entails we would bring so much healing to each other. I also believe it would drastically shift the current maternal health system and other structures surrounding birth, children and the health of us all.

I started to heal and was surrounded by wonderful women, friends, fellow therapists, my husband and my children.

I shared my story,
I practiced asking for help.

I laid my body bare to be met with kindness, loving touch and plenty of hugs.

I learnt how to nourish my body, sooth my emotions and calm my nervous system.

BUT most importantly I learnt how to come into co-regulation and coherence with the world around me and within myself.

Mothering has been my journey to meeting myself and knowing myself, and from that I have the greatest gift of all.

Being able to meet life with arms wide open in all its glory and messiness!

This IS the rite of passage of motherhood and the invitation.

You will forever be changed.

This is the work I am proud to say I've been doing for the last 7 years, both personally and in treatment.

I am deeply passionate about supporting women through this life changing threshold as I truly see and know myself how a mothers experience not only affects her life but also the world around her. It far exceeds just her personally, but also her community and perhaps most importantly the next generation.

Michael Odent once said " To change the world, we must first change the way babies are born".

I couldn't agree more. Mothers and their children are at the epicenter of our communities, and deserve the utmost care, respect and support. The success of our future lies with us.

Everything I do and offer is held deeply within an intent to support, hold and nurture you no matter where you are in this journey.

I believe you know the answer.

I know the wisdom lives within you and I have thousands of hours of practical experience which tells me your body knows exactly what to do to bring herself back into balance.

Yes I know lots of tools and techniques to help you get there, but truly the magic and the gift of what I do is seeing you come home to yourself and helping you remember you were never broken.

My professional background includes advanced bodywork; including massage, reflexology, aromatherapy, and somatic healing.

I blend these with energy healing, sound, meditation, simple breathwork and shamanic teachings. I am a deeply spiritual soul, but if having 6 kids has taught me anything- it's got to be practical, grounded and accessible so we can integrate our growth and healing into daily life.

People often tell me they appreciate the grounded scientific approach I take to the mechanics of healing and how I blend it with the ancient and mystical. My intuitive nature and years of experience means I meet you at the edge of where you are, and who you are becoming. Every woman's journey is unique and nuanced. It's my job to tailor everything to honour that.

What makes me different from any other women's health practitioner out there at the moment is addressing our attachment signature to love and how it impacts our health, our hormones, how we conceive, birth and raise children!

Our attachment, and our nervous system is THE cornerstone of health, well-being and vitality.

I really look forward to meeting you,

Bex x